My Word

PrayerAt the beginning of this year the girls in our small group decided to individually pick a “word of the year”. Each of us was to pick a word that would represent our goal, hope, or focus for the year. I’m really bad at this kind of thing….like when you get asked to pick one word that describes you. How do I describe myself in just one word? Needless to say I avoided the task for a couple days. I kept feeling anxious every time one of the girls would let us know what her word was and why. Honestly, I didn’t want to take the time to quiet myself enough to think about it. But it became my turn! I really started to think about a year from now, especially in the sense of our adoption journey. What did I want to be the thread that would weave our story of 2016? And it came to me! PRAYER.

I’ve never been “good” at praying and I often wonder why prayer is so hard? I find myself distracted and unable to express my thoughts. And I rarely pray out loud with others in fear that doesn’t sound good enough or that I will get tongue tied. I recently started reading a book called “The Praying Life” by Paul E. Miller. He talks about the difficulty of coming to God in prayer because we are messy.

“The difficulty of coming just as we are is that we are messy. And prayer makes it worse. When we slow down to pray, we are immediately confronted with how unspiritual we are, with how difficult it is to concentrate on God. We don’t know how bad we are until we try to be good. Nothing exposes our selfishness and spiritual powerlessness like prayer.”

And boy am I messy!! And even more needy. My prayer life over the last few months has showed me of my need for Him. I find myself constantly asking the Holy Spirit to take hold of my mind. Thoughts of self-doubt seem to be the thorn in my side. Constantly questioning things I say or even tasks I complete at work, but asking the Holy Spirit to take the lead is empowering. For example this blog!! hah I never thought I would start a blog, but I feel like our story of adoption is something to be shared! It may seem unworthy of even asking, but my prayer for this blog is for Jesus to reveal Himself through my writing. For Him to be the focal point.

My goal for the coming weeks is to set a prayer time in the morning. I think of my Dad when I think of a scheduled prayer time. He is disciplined in his prayer life and I know that every morning he is up reading and praying in his office. I know because he will ask about my friends or prayer requests I gave him months ago. He will just say, “Hey! How are Daniel and Kim? I was praying for them this morning.” I am always blown away by his commitment to pray for MY people. The last few months have been challenging for some of my closest friends. Watching them in their valleys, with not much I can do. But Jesus can. And He will. Prayer has taught me to trust and know that He is good. Even in the valley. Prayer is meant for us to understand our place, which is in relationship with God, our Creator. So even when our lists seem too long or our prayers seem repetitive let’s be reminded that Jesus tells us to come. “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,  and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

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Our new hobby…

Fundraising. That’s right! I said fundraising. To some, the thought of asking for things seems real uncomfortable and slightly awkward. And I’m not even talking about money. I used to be really bad at asking for help, which revealed an ugly word called PRIDE. Ryan used to give me the hardest time in college because I never asked my professors for help. He couldn’t believe that I would rather fail a test than just go ask!! I had this deep rooted insecurity that would build up anytime I thought about raising my hand or setting up a meeting to talk with a teacher. I always defaulted to spending countless hours trying to figure it out on my own, and I’d say 99% of the time I would come up short. I really think it took an understanding of “grace” to release me from this prison of control. The thought of holding my plans loosely before the Lord now gives me a sense of freedom and hope. To trust that He’s got this!!

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

Fundraising has become a common topic in our house these days. Ryan’s new job with The Last Well is centered around telling the story of the ministry and asking others to be apart of the mission to bring the Gospel and clean water to the country of Liberia. His days are spent connecting with people and putting plans together for raising funds to drill wells. Key word CONNECT! Ryan and I love to be with people…It recharges us! When we started thinking about all that we needed to raise support for our adoption we both sunk in our seats a little. Thoughts of doubt and anxiety came flooding in and quite honestly it seemed too big a task to handle. But we were reminded that God has lead us here…to this place. A place of vulnerability. A place to get on our knees and lift our hands to Him and say “We desperately need you!” We have learned that fundraising isn’t really about asking for money. It’s about inviting people in to be more than just an observer and become a part of the story.

So we’ve decided to get creative! I bought the most comfortable t-shirt last weekend and thought…T-SHIRTS!!!! What’s better than a new comfy tee to add to your collection?! Ryan and I have decided to start at T-Shirt fundraiser! I’ve spent the last week figuring out all the logistics and now we’re ready!! Head over to our FUNDRAISING page to find out more!

Hello!

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Just to catch you up…

 

The last year has been filled with so many unknowns, but all of which have been prepared in advance! (Ephesians 2:10) The Lord has been teaching us of His sovereignty over ALL things. Our adoption story is uniquely ours and we are not even close to the end. We have been waiting about 5 months now to bring home baby Tew. We have been so thankful for some amazing friends that have been walking us through this process and providing an enormous amount of wisdom. For those of you who don’t know a whole lot about the domestic adoption process let me fill you in on our timeline so far.

Aug 2015 – Submission of our adoption Pre-App
October 2015 – Gladney Orientation & Application Submission
November 2015 – Home Study
December 2015 – Approved
January 2016 – Complete profile (book, web page, video)

Now the waiting begins. Our main prayer has been to “wait well”, but what does that look like? Joy and thanksgiving come to mind when thinking of waiting well. “May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.” Colossians 1:11-12 Our desire is to seek God’s will above all else!  Please join us as we joyfully wait for our precious baby!