The Onion Effect

We have been fortunate to have some amazing people walking with us through this journey of adoption. But there are two people in particular that have really shaped the way we’ve approached this adventure!! We want to introduce you to Amber and Dylan!! They are Mom & Dad to sweet Sydney, Lovers of people, Adoption & Foster care advocates, and most importantly followers of Jesus. They are leading the way in our church to care for the orphans and we can’t say enough about them! We sat down with them just over a year ago to hear their adoption story. They had just introduced the Belong Ministry at PCBC  by sharing their  desire to create a culture within our church to care for the fatherless. Our intention for lunch that day was to simply hear their story because for us adoption was way, way, WAY in the future. But after hearing their story and the road that brought Sydney home we began to rethink our perfect little family plan. Adoption had become our WHY WAIT plan.


One of the best things they ever told us was what we like to call “the onion effect.” Adoption will quickly peel you to your core. The 100 page application, which sparks hard conversations, will take a layer. The 3 rounds of home study meetings where you bear your soul to a stranger. Yep that will take a layer…maybe two. The hurtful comments that people make (even when they don’t realize what they are saying has hit a nerve). That’s another layer. We are continuing to be peeled to the core. Eventually you start to hit the layers that make your eyes water. This past week was an eye watering moment for us, but also one that keeps our eyes on Jesus even in the midst of the tears. We were reminded this last week that God has His perfect plan. A plan that will bring us closer to Him!

We were presented with a potential match through our online profile and boy does your mind start racing the second you get a call like that. The adoption timeline is unpredictable, but we still fight to make our own plans and put this journey in a box. The reality of the call was that this birth mom was in the hospital when she reached out, and we could become parents within a matter of days!! But all we could do was wait for a reply to find out if she wanted to move forward in the process with our agency. So we found ourselves in prayer. Prayers for this to be it, but at the same time asking for God’s will to be fulfilled. Amber always reminds me that there is purpose in this process. We had the divine privilege of praying for the birth-mom and for her baby no matter the outcome, because we are not the only ones facing a life changing experience. She is as well. It’s a great perspective to be aware of the other side. To understand her struggle and pray for God’s will to be done in her life. Two days after we initially received the call from our caseworker we were told that she had not responded back about moving forward. And it would be unlikely to hear anything back at that point. It’s hard not to start visualizing that baby and what it will be like to bring them home, but we can freely hope in something big because our God is BIG! I kept reading through Ephesians 3:20 “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work with in us.” And we can be okay with the disappointment, because we know He is in control and always faithful. We are confident that God’s using this to draw us into a deeper understanding of his great love. So we willingly ask to be peeled to the core as we joyfully await Baby Tew!